I’m F… iring Ted Nolan

Teddy Nolan was voted off the Island. In a joint statement, New York Islanders GM and Coach released a statement declaring their philosophical differences. Garth and Ted have no further comment. Neither do Jason Pominville or Jochen Hecht. Mainly because they are not in the Islander organization.

Snow: “Ted has helped us achieve some success over the last two seasons, however it has become clear that we have philosophical differences and have decided together to part ways.”

Nolan: “While I am disappointed I will not be coaching the Islanders next season, there have been philosophical differences and we’ve agreed it’s a good time for me to move on.”

Dani: “Someone failed the analytic hockey branch of philosophical differences. Hey, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman broke up! WTF?.”

Miss Lady Hockey Blogger 2008

I watched Miss Universe last night. The hair is gigantic. Once, I watched this beauty pageant with transvestites. My brother and I were totally into it. They were so tranny awesome.

The hosts were Jerry Springer and Mel B (aka Scary Spice). One of the judges was Roberto Cavalli. “World famous fashion designer Roberto Cavalli has dressed stars such as Lenny Kravitz, Madonna…” No A-Rod?

It’s pretty crazy to hear their back-stories. They said Miss Angola was in a plane crash while trying to escape from her war torn country. We got it easy. “I escaped from my two story, four car garage mansion in suburbia. My pageant mom is crazy. She’s, like, tanorexic and makes me practice speeches seventeen times a day. Thank you.”

The five finalists of Miss Universe were Columbia, Venezuela, Dominican Republic, Mexico, and Russia. I was pulling for Miss Venezuela. She seemed like a winner. A Evgeni Nabokov look-a-like was shown in the audience after Miss Russia’s name was called. My brother had to point that out. Nabokov 2 really liked Team Russia. 

For the Q&A part, the girls had to pick a judge at random who would then ask them a question. I’m thinking this was fixed. You know, no more Miss “Geography is haaard” answers (or falling on their asses). To be fair, that was a hard question. She answered better than I ever would. I mean, really, what would you say? “Ummm… sometimes America can be a little retarded.” That would go over real well with the judges.

USA: Fail.

Runners up: Miss Mexico, Miss Russia, and Dominican Republic.

First Runner Up: Miss Columbia.

Winner of Miss Universe 2008… Miss Venezuela! WOOOO!!! I WIN! Oh. Wait. Pshh. I never win Miss Universe. I demand $100,000 and a diamond encrusted tiara!

Scratch that. Uhhh, poor Miss America.

Blueliner Lovin’

Let’s start our week off right.

Winners on Defense

Who joins Pricey among the hotties?

Kris Letang *lick* & Mike “pretty eyes” Komisarek *lick*

Now for your remaining left wingers: Vote 1, Vote 2.

____________________________

Important Notice: Wrap is searching for a new NHL team. Please state your case of why she should pick the Buffalo Sabres as her favorite and why choosing the Maple Leafs would be a horrible, horrible fate. Thank you. 

P.S. Are the Pens almost done signing players yet? I wonder.

Swim On!

What a story to follow. Eric Shanteau qualified to swim in the Olympics but was recently diagnosed with testicular cancer. He’s roughing it by opting out of surgery until after Beijing. Gotta follow the dream! I smell blue “swimstrong” bracelets in the making.

Bringing Chops Back

The Anaheim Duck’s new AHL affiliate team…

 

Iowa Chops

 

President Chops released a statement, “We wanted a name that would catch people’s attention and spark discussion, not just in Iowa but nationally as well.”

Holy vampire pig, you got my attention. It’s certainly different. I think it may scare the children.

Hooray For Normalcy!

Check it out. I’ve added a new fuschia link to my blogroll!

I don’t usually talk about my blogroll because it’s not really my style. To me, it’s equivalent to obsessing about who will be in your number one spot on MySpace. My boyfriend or best friend? Oh, no! What ever will I do? Come to think of it, I don’t even have a MySpace anymore. That’s not the point. I just kind of go with the flow and if I like it I’ll put you up. There’s even some blogs I read that never got the link and for that I apologize. What can I say? I’m Internet lazy. And apparently I like writing short, declarative sentences. 

This crazy cool blogger decided to start her own website called “AllMediocre” because not all of us are oh-so-special like the Alltop bloggers. Well, we are special, but in a different kind of way. There are so many other blogs out there that go unnoticed (much like the ones on this site) and she’s doing her part to help out the economy blogosphere. Can we get any more average than a WNY native writing about her excessive love for the Sabres? I think not. So, my Sabre (and non-Sabre) readers, if you believe you are worthy of mediocreness, give it a test run and click on my pretty hot pink link. Join the ranks and read new blogs. All the average bloggers are doing it. Seriously, it took forever to decide what badge I wanted.

Come Again?: My father told me he heard complaints about people having problems after receiving Gardasil shots to protect against “the Pamplona…”

Pondering Blog

Hmm… this roster… it looks… so familiar… 

By the way, new Lightning owners, nice Clay Aiken hair.

Wait. We Live In The Same Region?

Today, I was reminded of why I never go on the Sabres message board. Some dude accused me of being a spy for Tom Golisano. Right. I didn’t respond. I’m no hockey genius, but I think billionaires have better things to do than to hire damage control on message boards. Am I way off base here? I don’t know. I would’ve taken him more seriously if he weren’t in his early thirties and saying these things (how about we bring back vowels and syntax?). I understand a lot of people in our area are miserable and people use the Internet to vent frustration but really? 2007-2008 season, I was waiting in line to pick up dinner and this guy told me the Sabres should fire Lindy Ruff and Darcy Regier because they suck. He must’ve hated when Ruff won coach of the year and almost brought us to the Stanley Cup Finals…

Anyway, I found this quote - not on the boards.

On his daughter Carrie getting engaged to Alexander Selivanov:

“I tried to talk my daughter out of going with a hockey player but, he’s a good kid. He asked me if he could marry Carrie before he asked her. I said, “You want to what?’ I thought he was just going to ask for more ice time.”


-Phil Esposito

Hehe!!!

Exercise Your Right To Vote

If you haven’t done so already, (1) vote (2) vote for your favorite hottie hockey player. It only takes a a few quick seconds. It’s fun and easy. Guys can vote too… 

Paul Gaustad would want you to go Green. How can you deny the Goose? Or Green? I’m sure Mike’s eco-friendly.

Or maybe you prefer army pants and flip flops tattoos? 

Tales From Fourth Of July Weekend

This is not riveting. Not in the least.

Friday was kind of dull for a 4^th of July extravaganza. At least the weather’s nice. That whole seventy degrees in July thing, what kind of game were we playing there? I demand humid and sticky in the summer months!

My brother literally dragged me by my wrists outdoors because he whined, I don’t EVER hang out with him. Never. I didn’t just play soccer, go for a bike ride, and swim in a negative four-degree pool with you and our cousin toady? No, that must’ve been my “good” twin. “I’m craving a glove save,” he says. So now he thinks I suck at hockey and can’t get by his glove save. I’m not accepting the challenge because I know I suck. “Why don’t you stop blogging about hockey and actually play it with me more.” Mmmm valid point, +1 my bro.

Mediocre fireworks. I did see a red, twirly, spirally thing that I’ve never seen before (only on TV…). My favorite fireworks are in Mayville. Last year, they shot off so many at the finale there was still smoke from the previous fireworks, and you could hardly see them. It was awesome and magical and borderline Epcot. Plus, you’re right on Chautauqua Lake.

I caught some of the Olympic trials. So. Exciting. My eyes were rolling into the back of my head, people! Track? Even track! No sarcastic tones either. Last Olympics I was screaming at Michael Phelps to swim faster. You think I’m crazy? It worked didn’t it? Yeah, umm, what swimming machine won 859247589672 gold/bronze medals in Greece? You’re welcome. Michael Phelps set another world record in the 200 meter (1:54:80). Ryan Lochte finished a hair behind him. Aww. Poor Ryan. Beat Phelps! Let’s do this, Ryan. *fist pump*

Today, I bought two new bras and a $20 dress (discounted from $60 thank you very much). This guy in American Eagle told a new cashier to watch the front of the store. He said once someone tried to run away with a ton of stuff while he was working. He looked at me like, “oh shit!” He was fun.

The employee at Victoria’s Secret helped a girl who was purchasing a gel bra for the first time to be worn under her prom dress. They were telling all these horror stories about adjusting. Fun times. All you need is glue, double stick tape, and your best friend. The girl that was working at the store talked to me about all the crazy people who come in. She said they get hordes of Canadians when there’s a sale. Oh, those Canadians. Then, when guys come to buy stuff for the ladies they’ll bring in something printed up from online. *Points to sheet* “Yeah… this thing.” She said they always bring in the coupon for free cotton panties and get so upset when they walk past the lace. We started talking about how some people have huge “cereal boobs” (meaning they sit up so high you can rest cereal on them) but we ended the conversation with Man Vs. Wild drinking games. Don’t ask. 

If you Google “VS,” you’ll find both Versus and Victoria’s Secret. Ha.