5. Applying to blog for the NY Islanders. Scratch that. When NHL rookies and team owners blog. If we asked nicely, do you think Tom Golisano would blog?

4. Q&A’s with topics such as Jamie Langenbrunner’s Captaincy role with the Devils, Ryan Malone’s fate decided by a fortune cookie (… in bed my pants) and “They Should Know Better” segments with the Blues featuring Dan Hinote’s fiancee and team nap buddy (Spoiler Alert: They both failed).

3. Discussing the most charming teammate with the Montreal Canadiens (Spoiler Alert: Mike Komisarek is the winner).

2. Boston Harbor cruises benefiting cancer research. Unfortunately, I’ve only been on nine hour whale watches in Boston. I spotted 1 1/2 whales and a brace of ducks. That journey didn’t benefit anyone. 

And in no particular order:

1a. Andrew Peters benefiting cancer research. I was YouTubing Ride for Roswell and um… I find this piece of work on the second page. Say what you will, I like Petey. I don’t know why. I’m glad he got in shape, but I mean come on….

1b. Left winger (and UFA) Mathieu Darche joins the Sabres from Tampa Bay. He’s in for some fun weather. He is from Montreal so he’ll acclimate to the subarctic temperatures rather quickly (?), especially since Pommers will be around to take him out on the town and talk dirty to him speak french with him. Jason Pominville WILL be back. HE WILL! Oh, man, and he just missed the deadline for the Hottie Hockey Dreamy Team: Left Wingers Addition! He would’ve given Malone a run for his money. 

I especially enjoy this statement by our new man, “Lindy Ruff is a lot like [former Lightning coach] John Tortorella. You get what you deserve.

So far, so good.

1c. Yesterday, Nathan Gerbe turned twenty one. Happy Birthday Nathan Gerbe! Even if you never speak to your facebook friends from High School that you haven’t even really met and they all of a sudden love you but you don’t love them but add them anyways for no SidneyCrosbyforsaken reason, it’s still a facebook requirement to wish them a Happy Birthday. 

1d. Do you know what time it is?! It’s (not tool time) Hottie Hockey Time: Centers Round Two and Right Wingers Addition. VOTE FOR POMMERS (picture! yeah?) so we can bring the Sabres to their rightful place in history (and Dainius Zubrus)!!!!! Then vote for Pommers again here. Please and thank you.

Well, that was one Friday post chalk filled with awesomeness. Happy Friday!

Quick update: yessss.

5. The Dallas Stars announced their new “2008-2009 Stars Planet Tan Ice Girls.”

4. The amount of Stanley Cups shown in this picture. It’s kind of funny if you think about it. Eleven times and three in row.

If I cried, would it be normal?

3. Ty Conklin is featured on the first page of Wild’s site - not Ryan Miller (or Patrick Lalime).

2. Sidney Crosby wins an ESPY for best NHL Player. Yawn. Sorry, Sid, overkill isn’t your fault. Who else would they pick? [Among winners: A-Rod, Tom Brady, Kobe Bryant… go figure.].

1. Mats Sundin, you’re not on the roster. What’s happening there?

… I’ve been slacking.

Yesterday, I got two shout outs (!). One was on the “kick ass addition” of AllMediocre. I’m soooo honored they think I’m kick ass! You know how teachers always say, “If you believe it, you can achieve it blah blah blah crap?” Well, if you believe you’re kick ass and you write a half assed commentary on beauty pageants, you win at mediocre life! Wooo!

The second was from Raising Pennsylvania. She’s one of my favorite AM bloggers. But then, I find out she’s a Rangers fan. She also steals and abuses dentists. I KNOW! Before you go penning me as an accomplice of a felon blogger and a Sabre traitor (basically a crime all in it’s own), just know she’s one of the “good” Ranger fans. I didn’t even know the Rangers had “good” fans. Take my word; they exist. I’m sure there are very few of them but, in NYC, there are like a bajillion people so you must come across some fun people one way or another (or… if they happen to not live in NYC).

Today, as I was raiding the makeup isle while my brother waited patiently rapping to Lil Wayne, singing Britney Spears, and waiting to leave so he could pull a Ronaldinho with his soccer ball and try on his new under armour he bought from Dick’s, I thought, I’m so glad I don’t have a sister. I watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians the other day and I immediately disliked them. All they do is fight and scream at each other (and are famous for having a huge ass/sex tape). Then, at a hockey rink I heard these two sisters (who were employees) inappropriately flip out at each other in front of all these people. I was appalled they would act that way in front of customers (if that’s what you would call people at a hockey rink). Anyways, Christian Bale was arrested???????????

___________________________

Search Terms:

(1) dani [dramatic] >_<

Nice.

 (2) dani Nathan gerbe cute


*wipes away tear* You’re beautiful bloggers.

(3) Ahem.

gretzky shirtless

naked richard zedník
carey price shirtless
Tom Kostopolous shirtless
Patrick Kane shirtless
paul posluszny shirtless
paul gaustad shoe size
paul gaustad abs

paul gaustad naked
harry taco bowman

[What?] My blog is among porn and murderous motorcycle gangstas. I’m… so proud. Unfortunately, I’ve been deprived of a life where Paul Gasutad and his abdominal region have been in my presence. I have a rough life. However, my brother attended an ”elite soccer camp” at UB and…

Bulls.

… one of the counselors bares a striking resemblance to the Goose and that’s close enough (until hockey season resumes)!

You think?

“I’d trade all the money in the world to bring a championship here.” –Ryan Miller on signing in Buffalo

[Oh, I always go out in style.]

I feel I should’ve voiced my opinions of Ryan Miller’s contract a tad earlier. I’m sure I could write and site with reliable sources (cannot include Wikipedia) eight pages on why Ryan Miller is an appropriate choice of starting goaltender, how I think his contract is very reasonable (compare and contrast his contract with other Eastern Conference goalies), and bitch and moan about the people who thought he’d leave us all for Detroit. Last week, I planned on asking you (yes, you!) for your Ryan Miller contract thoughts (something I should do more often) but never quite got around to it. I think the Sabre bloggers summed up my thoughts quite beautifully. So, cheers to five more years of brutally honest media bliss!

I hope Pommers doesn’t leave us for Montreal. Oh no’s! 

I love this (minus the girls)!

Ryan Malone Vs. Zach Parise. It’s on.

While I take five hours to decide which is the better looking winger, let’s vote for our Centers. Sorry, bunnies, no Tim Connolly (ha haaaa). There is a Vincent. And yes, I still forget my name, thank you for asking. I’m glad you remembered.

If I still have to hold your hand and link you to Wraparoundcurl and I Mean, We Got Guys…, you just have no hope of succeeding at life. Oh! You probably did forget (Vinny). Sorry, my bad [See: "Non-Sabre Faves" Blogroll].

Movie news for my fellow Christian Bale lovers!!! I haven’t seen the Dark Knight just yet, but I fully intend to. In the mean time, Christian Bale stars in the upcoming Terminator 4: Salivation Salvation. More Bale?! Can the movies get any better?

Oh, sweetie. You shouldn’t take fashion advice from Derek Roy.

*UPDATE!*

I was just about to leave when - BREAKING NEWS - Millsie was re-signed for FIVE YEARS [for the low, low price of $31.25 (million)]!!!! WOOOOOO!!! 

We still have RJ right? He’s not retiring anytime soon? Don’t abandon us!

I’ve heard rumors. I’ve heard leaks. Now, it’s basically official. I mean, come on, it’s in the BUFFALO NEWS! You have to do it now. It’s been twenty-two years (< 22) and three in the making but someone finally did something about it.

Three, full-size, not-for-profit ice rinks? Possibly as early as September ’09? Three? ’09? Hot damn. We’ll see about that.

*There are roughly 1,300 hockey teams — and 14,000 youth players - in Western New York.
*New York State has the fourth-largest number of amateur hockey players in the nation. It trails only Minnesota, Michigan and Massachusetts in producing puck jockeys — and 43 percent of them are from WNY.



Awesome. Just give the team a good name and pick out sweet jersey colors.

Guys, just so you’re in the know, the “Sean Avery Trend” is in full effect. Have fun with that.

Sabres.com announced teased us with some schedule news. Our first game will be played against the Montreal Canadiens on October 10th, starting our 39th Sabre season. This will be perfect because (A) it’s on a Friday night and (B) it’s three days after I turn 21. Oh, watch out Sabre fans, I’m bringing it (but probably not).

I can’t wait until next season when the Sabres turn forty and we’ll have a giant Oldie McOlderton party. We can make stupid over the hill jokes like… “Heeeey,*annoying laugh* need some Viagra?” *slaps knee* Then, we’ll top it off by sending them Pampers and prescription pills for their bone spurs.

So, Montreal, YOU’RE GOING DOWN! 4-1-1? It should be 9-1-1 (Only, not really. Roll with me on this one.): someone call the Canadiens a doctor - ‘cause they’re gonna need one after we crush them in the home opener. Ohhhhh snap.

Ahem [lame joke day at Sabre Kallisions].

Anywhooooo, patiently waiting for the full on schedule…

I received an email yesterday from Miss Sherry stating she’s deathly ill and needs money now! She means serious business. She was willing to pay me $10,000,000 in British pounds for my good will. I’m touched by her donation. She states, “Be informed that I can not read emails or receive phone calls for now.” So tragic. Miss Sherry, I’d like you to know that you spelled British wrong. Livestrong, honey, Livestrong!

While I delete my spam mail, I’m getting a little angry and ranty. I don’t know if you’ve read about the Math A Regents and how deathly hard it was… once again. Ok, 2003 when people took it, everyone failed. I’m talking just about everyone, even the super math geniuses. I remember my high school put up a chart with the overall Math A grades. It was bad. This year, students could get a raw score of thirty out of eighty-seven and pass. Ridiculous. First of all, ew. Second, that makes New York look really stupid. One of my teachers in high school told me people (down with the English language) get paid good money for purposely coming up with difficult questions. Makes sense right? It’s not the math part that’s hard, it’s the way they word the question. Can you say Kyle Cease and “Proposition 97?” They might want to revisit their game plan and tone it down a little.

Speaking of grades, the NHL has an article about Mike Weber and how he sucks a life. So they say Webs played for the “Jr. –B Penguins.” That’s like a Jr. Penguin only, he doesn’t receive A+?

The Mike Weber saga continues. Surely, the players want my head and are working together in a grand scheme against me. Clever. One flaw in the plan, Mike. The Commish. He obviously doesn’t want me to die and he’s sending me subliminal tips via the NHL’s official sites. Oh, he’s making his move alright.

Step 1: Mike Weber’s going to “ask me out.”
Step 2: While out to dinner, he serves me wine, gets me tipsy, and stabs me with his steak knife.
Step 3: He gets away on Butch’s speed boat.

It couldn’t get any clearer than that.

Weber says, “I never get in those boats — too fast.” Riiight. You’re soooo innocent. I see the truth. Not to worry, as long as I continue receiving tips from Gary and his employees, I’ll remain safe. Oh, and I’m totally skipping training camp [lies]!

To the point: Danny Pie is back and Macarthur, Funk Mancari received qualifying offers. Rejoice (for… non-UFAs?)!