Does My Life Not Seem Like An Ironic Chapter Book Or What?

Jump to Comments

Banditland: 7:30 Jax & Bandits in the NLL Championships. WGR it or ESPN360 [you do have good computers, right?] for those not attending [me]. Bring home another title and PROTECT THE HAWKS!

Happy Belated Birthday to Mikey Ryan in honor of MJ. I was not available to celebrate this joyous occasion. 

Yesterday, I went to Willowbrook with my friend, her mom and her girlfriends. Here’s the lo down: Fishing, golfing, art show, and ice cream. I’ve never felt so yuppie in my life. Golfing. Me. Golf. Club. Danielle. Polo shirts. Golf. Well, I went to Catholic school for nine years so I’m used to yuppie and polo shirts but holy where’s my Starbucks and khaki pants? Some random guy decided he would teach us how to golf (the right way). You’re funny. Then, some of the, um, male employees came out of the woodworks to behold the spectacle. The departing words were, [shakes hands] “See you on the PGA Tour.” They sat and laughed hysterically judged our horrible wonderful skills. It was really bad, you guys. I’m proud to say I wasn’t the worst of the group. Beginners luck. We found out that I’m better with the *woods than the *irons. 

As for the “fishing” (basically in a fountain), I got nothing. “It’s too cold blah blah,” says my friend’s dad. Stop throwing off our groove, friend’s dad, because it’s only fishing. It’s not like it’s a real sport… And don’t you worry; the only worms involved were *worm burners. That’s right, I’m already throwing golf terms at you. I learn some new skills from guys and I already (not) impress you with my knowledge. Do you really think I would touch a worm? I’ve never touched a worm in my life and I’m not starting in a fountain. Stop me. I’m on another sugar high.

Wikipedia definitions for the non-golfers:

*Woods- “…require a high level of skill and a certain amount of luck regarding the “lie” of the ball to execute such a shot correctly.”
*Irons- “…most often used for “odd” shots such as hitting out of the rough, out from underneath trees or, out of hazards…”
*Worm burner- when a golf ball is hit hard and is intended to go airborne but instead skips along the ground at high speed. See: “BAMF;” “Dani;” “sucks.”

I come home and turn on the Memorial Cup (props to Vanek Stat Daddy) and Gatineau scores I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m bad luck for hockey players. However, in the case of Non-NHLers, I’m a charmer (i.e. brother, cousin, AHLers) 5-4 Kitchener Rangers. Go Sabre draft pick and team!

MAN DOWN: Labrie’s knees! He’s sixteen. I want to hug the poor little thing.
MAN DOWN Part 2: Boedker. What? These little ice devils are breaking down all over the ice. He’s seriously wanting to go back onto the ice. Wait, he’s the enemy. I don’t care about the crybaby. Leave the ice. I definitely just heard the Spongebob Squarepants theme song. Is this normal in the OHL? Boedker comes back on the ice. Wow. I would own at hockey because I can’t even touch a freakin’ worm.

OT: The Rangers scored and won the game 6-5. I take back what I said before. I’m a walking (but still awesome) hockey player’s curse.

Attempt to sway Darcy Reiger into signing Paul Byron by using an actual Q&A from Gatineau site (you know my relationship with Darcy by now):

1. What is your nickname? Biz, >>Sexy Paulo<< (Are you kidding me?! I already love this kid.)

2. Songs on his iPod:
The Unforgiven 2 – Metallica (BFF’s with Lydman)
The Arms of Sorrow – Killswitch Engage (BFF’s with Stafford)
Iris – Goo Goo Dolls (BFF’s with us)

3. If you weren’t a hockey player, what would you be? Forensic Scientist (He’s smart!).

4. Do you have a special ring tone? Rockstar – Nickleback (Umm… “character?” No worries, ring tones are totally changeable!)

5. He’s 5’10 and weighs less than Nicole Richie pre-pregnancy. (Darc, you love the mini skilled sniper stars!)

6. Byron… Biron…

7. He’s a shoe and already prepackaged with “5 Points.”

7 Comments

Filed under Buffalo BanDits, Darcy Regier, Draft Picks, Golf Swing, I'm A Winner At Life, Paul Byron