Everyone in Buffalo and SabreFans around the globe are terrified because (a) we’re playing Montreal and (b) our season could end at a drop of a hat [trick]. One positive coming into the game is that the Beast Is Back: SPACEK! (Note: This was written Thursday, April third, two-thousand eight)
Period 1:
- Fisher Price is in goal.
- Higgins scores a power play goal.
- Smolinski slapshots a second.
- Cheap shot from behind on Sekera by Montreal. Blah.
Intermission: Mike Robitaille and Rob Ray have a heated debate about the rotating Captaincy. Rob <3 Pommers for life while Mikey favors equal opportunity: all guys should get a chance to enhance their egos! I mean… résumés.
- Thoughts: I wonder if Montreal trash talks in French?
- Dear Mike: Don’t forget Rayzor was an enforcer and can kick your weird old butt.
Period 2:
- Patrick Kaleta mixes it up in an effort to give some life to the Sabes.
- Doesn’t work: Smolinski somehow gives Millsie a wrister he can’t quite shake off.
- Mair (tripping), Goose, and Hecht (roughing) get nasty and take penalties.
Intermission: Mike Robitaille uses his “Robistrator.” I’ll miss you weatherman Mike. Sylvester interviews Steve Begin from the Canadiens. They’re so cute with their little Montreal accents. If they DID trash talk in English, how could you take them seriously?
- Kevin Sylvester Quote Time: “Take it easy on Sekera out there! What? I thought I’d throw it out there.”-During an interview with Montreal’s Begin referring to a hit from behind to Sekera
- Thoughts: HA! Nice touch, Kevin. Hey, he used my word, “SabreKiller.” That’s Alfie’s title.
- Dear Sabres: We scored six goals in the third before, let’s do it again. DO IT.
Period 3:
- Miller is back to his old goal stopping self. A little too late, I’m afraid.
- Pepe Le Pew LaPierre attempts to spear Pat Kaleta with his bow and arrow stick. KALETA takes penalty for the love tap (Alright, so did Pepe but Kaleta didn’t do the crime!).
- Refs are blind tonight.
- Kostitsyn gets a penalty for bad hair. Fix it. It’s worse than Vanek’s hot tranny mess on draft day.
- Stafford takes a lazy zombie penalty for hooking. You hooker.
- Linders pulls Miller out of goal to get the boys moving. Oh God.
- WHAT? Kotalik scores the only goal of the game. Lindy knows his team. Sabrelicious.
- Montreal tries to cheat the game by putting 4-1 on the scoreboard. Sorry, you don’t think the Sabre fans won’t notice? It’s immediately fixed (3-1). Nice try.
- MaXXX Afinogenov mixes it up with Ham-r-lik. Max hates ham. I hate ham.
- Habs begin their “Olay” chants. I thought that was for European soccer fans.
- Whatev, Tallinder shuts down the chanting fans as he hits the goal post. Quick Draw McTallinder skates away happily.
- Hecht skirmishes with the Habs. He’s feisty tonight.
- Goose is ejected from the game for being disruptive and naughty.
- Cue close up of Adam Mair shaking away tears on the bench as time runs out. He knows all playoff hope is lost.
The game has ended and Kevin, Rob, and Mike explain the reasons we lost. I don’t want to hear it. We already know why. We don’t care. They don’t really care either. Cameras go to the dressing room as YoYo, Kotalik, and Millsie are interviewed. Cue sad faces. They don’t want to be interviewed. We don’t wanna see them sad. Cue media making obvious and upsetting statements to the players as they hold back tears. I hate seeing them like that. Total defeat is not pretty on the Sabres.
- Kevin tells us that Alex OvenChicken has scored his 64th goal of the season and the Caps win 4-1. Hooray for you.
- Harry Neale Quote Time: “He felt Smelt.”-Messes up names again
- RJ Quote Time: “Plekanec was looking for a license plate.”-On Montreal player looking for the number who hit him (Hint: #36)
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3 Comments
April 6, 2008 at 3:27 am
that game made me super sad but the recap was very amusing!
April 6, 2008 at 6:47 pm
If I make at least one person happy, I’ve done good ;)
Thanks!
July 17, 2008 at 3:54 am
[...] teased us with some schedule news. Our first game will be played against the Montreal Canadiens on October 10th, starting our 39th Sabre season. This will be perfect because (A) it’s on a [...]